Tuesday, August 31, 2010
The Emmy Awards were endless on Sunday, weren't they?
And as an aside, DAMN YOU BRYAN CRANSTON! How can the voters keep picking him over Hugh Laurie? (Who, by the way, looked sensational in a midnight blue tux.)
It was hosted by Jimmy Fallon, seen here with a woman who is either quite pregnant or doesn't believe the 70s ever ended.
Kate Gosselin? KATE GOSSELIN? Seriously?
Yes, Kate Gosselin.
Although if you look through the red carpet photos, "television personality" has eclipsed "actress" these days. Speaking of tps, the first part of the night's coverage was done by Ryan Seacrest and Bobblehead Girl.
If her breasts are real, then mine are fake.
Onward to happier topics! Here are my picks for the Emmy's Best Dressed, in no particular order.
My favorite gown of the entire evening was January Jones in Atelier Versace. The dress is made of blue silk satin petals. Every time I saw this dress on screen, I smiled. And while watching an awards show, between the idiotic faux banter and the cloying bad taste, it is difficult to smile.
However, like almost everyone else at the Emmys, she looked like her hairdresser had taken the day off. Was there a hairdresser strike in Hollywood that we didn't hear about?
Mariska Hargitay, in a gorgeous blush pink Vera Wang "old Hollywood" gown which showcases her beautiful body and face.
And we mustn't speak of beautiful bodies without a mention of the much-Photoshopped Christina Hendricks in her lavender Zac Posen gown, cut to accentuate her curves and trimmed with ostrich feathers.
Susan Sarandon and her daughter, Eva Amurri (who recently guest-starred on the series "House") proved that opposites attract. Susan chose a phenomenal dress by Donna Karan. Of course, if you're Susan Sarandon, it is hard not to look phenomenal. Also opting for blush pink, Eva wore a vintage Thierry Mugler satin dress.
In a sea of safe looks, Carrie Preston stood out for all of the right reasons. Her custom-made print gown not only played up her coloring, the construction and cut were original, both front and back.
Another print gown, this one hand painted by Douglas Annette, stole the show as worn by Rutina Wesley of True Blood. (I was going to write "Work it, girlfriend!" but then I remembered myself.)
Speaking of risks, it does not matter to moi if everyone hates these dresses and hairdos. I was tickled to death by Mindy Kaling and Naya Rivera. It's a party, let the young people have some fun! Don't squash them into a dress fit for a 30-year-old, like Lea Michelle.
The cast of Glee were all over the place, which was deeply annoying to those of us who are not fans of the show. However, we forgive anything when it comes to the brilliant and beautiful Jane Lynch, who looked regal in this eggplant Ali Rahimi confection. She owned the red carpet, as they say.
Amy Poehler brought her husband, Will Arnett, and something never seen in Hollywood: an actual post-baby body!! Plastic surgeons make a fortune doing tummy tucks, breast lifts and, uh, vagina tightening after a star has a child (trust me on this one, I have excellent sources). Then, of course, the tabloids scream 'STAR SHEDS ALL BABY WEIGHT IN ONE WEEK' or some other lying nonsense. Not our Amy, and she looks splendid!
Another beautiful comedienne is Jane Krakowski, who wore this sensational blue confection:
Your faithful correspondent never thought she would have an embarrassment of riches in the Best Dressed category. Honestly, that never happens. But it seems there are.
So here some of the women who brought the old Hollywood glamour : Mary Hart, Julia Ormond, and Kirsten Lea. And Betty White, because she is literally old Hollywood.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Here is Tim Gunn opining about the "Unconventional Challenge," Casanova, and so much else. He is a true delight, and I cannot BELIEVE he will be going on hiatus until the Emmys!!!
I would have very much liked to write up a review of Episode 4, but to honest, it's beyond me right now. However, I am certain many other bloggers have interesting things to say.
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog
I finally watched this, and I urge you to watch it as well. If you think you are having a difficult summer...
Tim Gunn and I have something in common. Who knew? Not moi.
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog
The kind people at Conde' Nast sent me a PSA for Fashion's Night Out. Since I had a recent minor injury, I have not been able to tend to my blog-thing the way I usually do, so here you are.
Elisa & Bucky The Wonderdog
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Slowly but surely, my blog is being remade to bring it up to speed with the new decade. Please bear with me as I work with my truly idiotic assistant (who wants to make all of the lettering baby pink with a teddy bear background--why did I hire this moron? Why can't he be like the men on the Rachel Zoe show or that Kelly person?)
In any event, it might be a bit bumpy for awhile, but I am sure the results will be fabulous. Because I am fabulous, and my blog-thing has to reflect that!
Or I shall hurt my assistant. It's part of the waiver they have to sign to work for me.
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog
Friday, August 13, 2010
Valerie is making a dress entirely out of black and white napkins. As for being in the Top Three twice and losing to Gretchen, she said, “Always a bridesmaid, never a bride.” Get over it, woman, it’s only three episodes in.
Besides Casanova, there is a little man, Michael Costello, who is CONSTANTLY alone on camera, bitching everyone out. I had no idea who he was until I looked at the website. Again, fodder for the reunion show! Speaking of Casanova, he and Tim have the inevitable clash because CASANOVA WASN’T LISTENING when Tim said “no tablecloths.” What did this stubborn idiot do? Bought boatloads of tablecloths.
We had glimpses of other people working feverishly, including Peach, who was really sweating this one. Gretchen is being foregrounded, as the Evil Bitch. (Rumaki started being thrown by my guests whenever she was onscreen. Thank God for the plastic over the flat screen.) Obviously she is being set up as the Bad Guy, ‘cause, as we all know, everybody hates a winner.
Then, the inevitable Twist: just as the designers are completely exhausted, their models enter carrying goody bags of detritus such as ribbons, cupcake holders, etc. The poor designers have to make a smashing accessory to go with their outfits. The screams can be heard across Manhattan.
Andy is making an impossibly complicated dress out of ribbon. Peach and April, their garments done, come to help. That is so sweet. Tim comes in to get everyone after the “Garnier hair salon and L’Oreal Paris makeup room.” He is still riding on the high of “woolly animal balls.”
On to the runway. Heidi is glowing; I’m guessing she found someone on the crew to suck the lifeblood out of. Her eyes have the feral gleam of a cat about to pounce on an unsuspecting rodent. But all is forgiven, because BETSEY JOHNSON is the guest judge! Perfection! “Who IS that?” asked one of my guests, so I threw a deviled egg at him. Forgive me, the Cosmopolitans had reached their level. Please forgive me if I cannot remember what the dresses were made of.
Andy’s dress was an unqualified WOW. He made black ribbon look like finally tooled leather, accessorizing it with a black half-glove made from…balloons.
A.J.’s dress was a disaster: a Bizarro world child’s party dress, with crotch fringe. If he has ever watched the show prior to this, he should know that crotch fringe=very unhappy judges. Betsey Johnson tried to make him feel better about it, but to no avail.
Ivy’s dress is a beautiful compilation of petals. I cannot believe she did not make the top three.
Michael Costello, as much as he irritated all of us, sent an amazing red flamenco dress down the runway. The photo does not do it justice. It moved fluidly.
Gretchen sent down an…odd combination. The skirt was gold and silver tinsel, the top a cropped black jacket made from paper bags. It looked like two different outfits, neither of them particularly good. Betsey Johnson pegged it as “Dreamgirls on the bottom, Mad Men on the top.”
Speaking of flamenco dresses, Casanova sent yet another unmitigated disaster down the runway. Words fail me, but a picture will suffice, one hopes.
Sarah had struggled with a palm tree she had cut up, and ended up sending a rather bland little dress with unfortunate cardboard cutouts on top of it.
Casanova, A.J. and Sarah were in the bottom three; Valerie, Gretchen, and Andy were in the top three. Gretchen was preening, expecting to win. When they were all back in the waiting room, she bitched out A.J., sending a flurry of caviar at my flat screen. Really, if it hadn’t been for the bartender cleaning it off, I doubt we would have seen the end of the show!
Andy was the winner! Gretchen looked, let’s put it politely, miffed.
I was so afraid for poor little A.J., because I knew Casanova wouldn’t get the auf. So it turned out to be Sarah, mostly for lacking enough charisma.
At the end, poor Ivy caved in to all of the pressure and had to be taken to the hospital. Ah, well, that's show business.
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog
Wasn’t last night’s Project Runway fun! Yes, by the end of the evening, my flat screen was covered with rumaki, but one has to take the rough with the smooth.
The 90-minute format still feels forced and bloated. However, it was an Unconventional Challenge, and those bring out the real creativity in the designers. I am always amazed by what they manage to accomplish.
The opening juxtaposed Nicholas sobbing in his comrades’ arms with Heidi, gleaming with evil, announcing the opening of the show. The contrast felt as abrupt as the little girl’s head spinning in “The Exorcist.”
Gretchen was cast as the Evil Bitch this week, and she did her best to live up to it. Blissfully unaware of her colleague’s hatred, she hectored them in the workroom. Probably followed the female designers into the lady’s room to spout some drivel: “Your dress just isn’t good.” One knew we were in for a bitch-fest when, in the workroom, Gretchen announced to a fellow designer, “You’re going down.” Way to endear you to your colleagues, Gretchen.
The group met at Party Glitters, which is exactly what its name suggests. The challenge was to create an outfit entirely out of party favors, eschewing tablecloths or anything else that could be construed as fabric. Mondo, for some reason, was wearing hot pants. However, I forgive him. He has decent legs.
A.J. was in his element, squealing with delight. I love A.J. I want to put him in my Coach purse and tote him around.
Sarah At Party Glitters
Back at the workroom, Casanova took his cue from Heidi and disemboweled small stuffed animals. Although Heidi uses the real thing. Being a professional moron, he took tablecloths for his dress. Is the man incapable of listening? Apparently yes. The gods of reality television gifted him with a thick accent, annoying personality, and a big presence, which will assure that he stays on the program until fairly near the end. Now that Jason is gone, I officially despise Casanova. As did most of my viewing party, except the guest who thought his accent is “cute.” There is something about Casanova that makes me want to punch him in the face. And I am rarely one who stoops to violence. It’s vulgar.
Speaking of which, has the phrase “sexy but not vulgar” become the mantra on this show?
(To Be Continued)
Elisa & Bucky The Wonderdog
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
It's boiling hot here in New York City, which has me a tad irritable. So I hope you do not mind if I forego my usual brilliant commentary with a press release I was sent today regarding Fashion's Night Out.
MAYOR BLOOMBERG ANNOUNCES EXPANDED FASHION’S NIGHT OUT FOR 2010
Nearly 1,000 Participants Across the City Already a Part of this Year’s Event, Including Largest Public Fashion Show in New York City History
175,000 Jobs in City’s $10 Billion Retail and Fashion Industries
Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg, NYC & Company CEO George Fertitta, Vogue Editor-in-Chief Anna Wintour and Council of Fashion Designers of America (CFDA) Executive Director Steven Kolb today detailed Fashion’s Night Out 2010, which will include the largest public fashion show in New York City history – Fashion’s Night Out: The Show.
Mayor Bloomberg and a man in a white shirt
“Fashion and retail is part of the very fabric of New York City – supporting 175,000 jobs and pumping $10 billion into our economy annually,” said Mayor Bloomberg. “We are going to continue to help support, develop and expand these sectors with programs like Fashion’s Night Out, our fashion incubator and the CFDA/Vogue Fashion Fund. With a growing number of locations participating in Fashion’s Night Out and the largest public fashion show in city history, we are providing consumers with more opportunities to see all the city’s retailers and designers have to offer.”
“Millions from around the world visit New York City to be at the epicenter for fashion and design,” said NYC & Company CEO George Fertitta. “Fashion’s Night Out is a global showcase for the city’s outstanding talent, attracting visitors and supporting the local businesses that work so hard to ensure that New York City remains the world’s fashion capital. We are also excited to expand this year’s program to include this one-of-a-kind fashion show that will make Fashion’s Night Out even more accessible to visitors and residents across the five boroughs.”
“We are very excited to add the fashion show this year so that people will have the opportunity to see the wonderful clothes that will be available to them on Fashion’s Night Out,” said Vogue Editor-in-Chief Anna Wintour. “We've focused the show on the trends we thought were most important, so that no matter what their style or budget shoppers will have a source of inspiration.”
Anna Wintour and Tommy Hilfiger
“This is the first fashion show of its kind to bring the excitement of a live fashion show in an amazing outdoor setting directly to the general public,” said CFDA Executive Director Steven Kolb. “Guests will get a rare, first-hand glimpse of in-season clothes from the most creative designers, including many CFDA members and the top in American talent.”
Starting on August 16th, a listing of Fashion’s Night Out events to date – including designer and celebrity appearances, special products, performances and fashion shows with more expected to appear as the event nears – can be viewed by going to http://www.nyc.gov/. In addition, NYC & Company has worked with hotels around the city to create more than 40 individual hotel packages for the month of September, including packages at 6 Thompson, Fashion 26, Hudson New York, Paramount Hotel New York and the Mandarin Oriental. In an effort to drive visitation and increase consumer participation, these hotels will offer exclusive deals for travelers who want to experience Fashion’s Night Out. A full list of hotels and packages is available on http://www.nyc.gov/.
On Tuesday, September 14th, CBS will also air an hour-long special on the making of Fashion’s Night Out. The piece will feature designers, editors and retailers as they prepare for the second year of Fashion’s Night Out, as well as other industry professionals – from salespeople to design staff – who work and contribute to the city’s retail and fashion sectors.
Last year, Mayor Bloomberg and the CFDA launched the CFDA Fashion Incubator, which is designed to grow and sustain the next generation of fashion designers in New York City by providing access to low-cost studio space and support services. New York City’s Economic Development Corporation provided a three-year, $200,000 grant to establish the incubator, which is an approximately 10,000-square-foot space that accommodates up to twelve designers. Similarly, the CFDA/Vogue Fashion Fund, which Mayor Bloomberg helped launch in 2003, continues to provide financial support and business mentorship for emerging designers and this year’s $200,000 top prize and two $50,000 runner-ups will be announced on November 15th. Designer Prabal Gurung, a participant in the CFDA Fashion Incubator and a past finalist for the CFDA/Fashion Fund award, also joined the Mayor at the announcement.
Sunday, August 08, 2010
Bloated, long-winded, and faintly aggravating; no, I do not mean Rush Limbaugh. Rather, the new format of Project Runway. The ninety-minute episode.
What do we get for our additional half-hour? The only good thing I can think of is no more Models Of The Runway. Instead, we get more of the designers talking trash about each other, * footage of them in their rooms at the ATLAS (as is constantly pointed out), extended footage after the aufs, and most important, many, many more commercials. Second in importance is that none of the designers are particularly interesting people. A message to Bunim/Murray: Absence of footage makes the heart grow fonder.
There is little that can keep my attention for ninety minutes other than fantasizing about Alec Baldwin naked. However, I threw myself on the sword for you, my darling readers. Here is my “recap” of Episode Two.
Another change is that the Bluefly Wall (“Designers, use it very thoughtfully”) has been replaced by the Pipelime.com Wall. At least Tim Gunn doesn’t have to choke out “Macy’s” any more.
Right off the top, one of the designers nails the essential paradigm of the show: “Public torture of designers on television.” I hadn’t thought of the program that way, except for Heidi Klum’s new vampire teeth. (I still maintain she tortures small animals in her spare time.)
This week’s challenge is to create a look for a Marie-Claire Times Square billboard. Joanna Coles, an editor of the magazine, reels off a series of meaningless adjectives to describe “the Marie-Claire woman.” As opposed to the “Marie-Claire bedroom set” or “Marie-Claire baked beans”. I can’t remember them, but I’m certain they were along the lines of “strong, modern independent, feminine, has a vagina,” etc.
A.J., who obviously has his pulse on what the strong modern independent woman of today wants, decides to devise a “grunge/punk Courtney Love look”. Okaaaay.
Would Courtney wear this? Probably. She is on drugs.
Jason, wearing his bowler as per his persona, wants to create a dress of “infinity.” Because, really, what’s better than infinity? It left his peers shaking their heads. Throughout the program, the contestants in short interviews continue to tear apart everyone else’s designs. It gets as tiresome as one of those “Real Housewives” things, except less Botox and false breasts.
Mondo, despite having possibly the most irritating personal style, turns out to be extremely shy, so my viewing party didn’t have to hate him after all. (They get vociferous when the gin reaches its level.) Christopher, despite or perhaps because of being from San Francisco, looks like a Chelsea Boy clone through and through. Sweet little A.J.’s claws come out when Casanova asks him for help. If the tension level is this high on Episode Two, there will be blood on the workroom walls by Episode Five!
When Tim (God) Gunn, my BFF, enters the workroom, as per usual they skip some of the finale garments. Casanova has gone from stripper un-chic to country club matron, with a puffy black jacket and conservative white skirt that would not look amiss at the bar of a restricted private golf range.
Apparently when Casanova is alone with the other designers, his English is perfect. But let Tim or the judges be present, and he pretends to barely speak the language! One admits, the moment he’s “outed” this season should be well worth it.
Jason baffles Tim with his “infinity” dress, a gray-green thing with a lot of large curves that are safety-pinned together. For some insane reason known only to the denizens of his universe, Jason feels that safety-pins are excellent closures. As opposed to, say, buttons. Or hooks and eyes. (Has no one told Jason about the 80s?) In an interview shoehorned in, Jason feels that he is being punished for being a straight man, that Project Runway is heterophobic. No, Jason, you’re just an idiot.
Inevitably, as the designers rush to complete their garments, the Twist comes. The Twist has become such a PR trope that I simply can’t believe the designers have the capacity to be genuinely surprised. This week’s Twist is that all of the clothes will be part of a photo shoot. The designer’s choice of shot will also influence the judging of his design. As Karl Lagerfeld is the only designer who is also a photographer, I’m not sure I trust this batch’s judgment.
My guests cannot decide if Valerie looks more like Tracey Ullman (in which case the wig-like hair is appropriate) or Juliette Lewis (ditto). Peach made an unfortunate choice of fabrics at Mood and she knows it, ending up making three dresses in the time allotted. The final product is uninteresting, but at least it doesn’t get her booted off.
By the time my viewing party is quite ready for the show to be over and the serious food to be served, the guillotine/runway show begins.
Heidi again appears in age-appropriate attire. Is this a sign of the end of days? Blood trickling from her fangs, she runs through the usual opening, and Joanna Coles is this week’s guest judge. The models have either been swapped out or mercilessly drilled in how to walk. They do a far better job than Episode One.
Nicholas’s design is, as they say, a “hot mess,” but very well made. What was he thinking draping that circle of heavy cloth over a backless silk blouse?
Jason’s satin dress is the disaster we all thought it would be, both in the photo and the runway. If a “modern, strong, independent” woman wore this, it was probably because she had been unexpectedly been struck blind.
Gretchen’s jumpsuit, while not my cup of tea, is extremely well made. I liked the shoulder and neckline the best. As a very tall, long waisted woman, I can tell you that jumpsuits are one of the banes of my fashion existence. I pull one up to my waist, then pull it over my shoulders and…
”Ouch” does not begin to describe the sensation.
Kristin sends down a strange mess of fabric that is gathered, bunched and draped, but does not resemble anything your faithful correspondent would call “clothes.”
Mondo’s creation is a bizarre combination of black and tweed with a pink lobster bib.
"For the seafood lover in you..."
Despite looking like an 80s prom dress made of upholstery fabric, I rather like Michael's garment.
It is a considerable surprise when Mondo's blob of stuff makes the top three. To cut to the chase (which the show seems unable to do), Gretchen is again declared the winner. This time, two designers are “auf’d”: Jason, who deserves it, and Nicholas, who does NOT. Nicholas breaks down in tears. His outfit, while badly styled, was finished and creative, if a bit on the not-well-thought out side.
This was the weekly “WTF?” moment in which all of my guests scream and throw things at the flat screen. (To guard against an onslaught of deviled eggs, I cover the flat screen with a thin layer of plastic before my viewing parties.)
Jason did not stick around to have Tim see him off, but Nicholas did. The other designers were stunned, as were all of us.
At the end, we watch Gretchen squeal at the billboard, which has Coco Rocha capering in the jumpsuit.
I’m guessing Ms. Rocha is short-waisted.
* This footage will be very useful for the "reunion" show.
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog
Wednesday, August 04, 2010
Once again, my BFF, Tim Gunn has begun posting his opinions about the Project Runway episode we saw last week! (For some of us, it's better than the actual program!)
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog
Sunday, August 01, 2010
As many of you know, I am a formidable presence on Twitter. It is a delightful way to make friends and intimidate people. Millions of people tweet on every single topic under the sun. If I have to explain what Twitter is and how it works, just skip this entry. It will only give you a headache.
HOWEVER, there are certain aspects of Twitter than can drive one to take an axe to one's monitor.
1) Inspirational quotes. WHY, in God's name, do celebrities, in particular, feel they have to tweet dozens of inspirational quotes instead of...oh...anything? Elizabeth Taylor tweeted 2,000 inspirational quotes in two days!! You're a goddamned celebrity! Tell us about your house, your wardrobe, who you're having sex with! Anything but another tweet from @RevRunWisdom!
2) Retweeting inspirational quotes to your followers. It's nice if "Aspire higher than your dreams" makes you feel all warm and fuzzy, but it annoys the living hell out of moi. And if I get that freaking Eleanor Roosevelt quote one more time...
3) Roger Ebert. I swear, the man tweets EVERY TEN SECONDS! When does he have time to get anything done??? With links, yet!
4) Hashtags like #thingsuglypeopledo or #youknowyougotnodickwhen. This idiocy often ends up as a "trending topic".
5) Bots. Use Jesus in a tweet, you get Bible bots. Mention music in a tweet, you get music bots. (I like the porn bots, at least.) Oh, and when I ranted about inspirational quotes on Twitter itself, MY FOLLOWERS LIST GOT FLOODED WITH QUOTE BOTS!
I'm sure I'll think of other things--when next I am on Twitter.
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog