Tuesday, May 25, 2010

A Panel At Full Figured Fashion Week Featuring Moi!

DAHLINGS -

The most exciting fashion event of the year, Full Figured Fashion Week, is almost upon us! And your faithful correspondent can hardly wait! For one thing, it will be hosted by Emme Aronson of Emmestyle!

Not the least of my reasons is that the Curvy Collective asked moi to be part of a ground-breaking panel discussion, "The State of The Curvy Community," taking place on Friday, June 18 at 4pm!



I will be opining, along with:
Marianne Kirby - Blogger from The Rotund and co-author of Notes from the Fatosphere
Yuliya Raquel - Founder/Designer, Igigi
Golda Poretsky - Founder of Body Love Wellness
Erica Watson - Plus Size comedienne



The panel will be moderated by Sharon Quinn, star of Mo'Nique's FAT Chance, MTV's MADE, Cash Cab, Throwdown With Bobby Flay and most recently, The Style Network's show Ruby.



During this time of turbulence when it comes to public opinion about plus-size women, skinny actresses, and other body image issues, this is the event you want to attend! This and other panels will be located at New York City's Hotel Pennsylvania, 401 Seventh Avenue at 33rd Street, in the Madison Room. Advance tickets are only $11.

For more information, go to: http://fffweek.com/

You can also find information on other events, shows, lodging, shopping sprees, in short, everything you need to have the best time of your full-figured life!

More information to come! But save June 18th pour moi, si vous plait!


Ciao,

Elisa & Bucky The Wonderdog

Saturday, May 22, 2010

An Exclusive Statement From A House MD Cast Member!

DAHLINGS -

Tomorrow I shall start coverage of Full Figured Fashion Week in June!

But this morning in my email was a request to publish the following statement, from one of the cast members of House,MD. This is a cast member who has not been allowed to speak until now, so I felt that it would be noblesse oblige to allow them to have their say.

Particularly in light of the heated debate after the season finale, "Help Me". Many critics thought it was terrible except for the last five minutes, in which Cuddy declared her love for House, many other critics thought it was brilliant except for the last five minutes. For once, let me step aside and use the blog-thing for altruistic purposes.

(Faithful readers, be assured that this statement does not reflect the opinions of the blog owner or Blogger.com. My apologies for the language used in this statement. Your faithful correspondent abhors profanity, but censorship is not practiced in this blog-thing. Unless it's negative comments calling me a "fuck-tard." )

Ciao,

Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

P.S. You can also read this statement in Spanish at http://tinyurl.com/258a5se


STATEMENT


I’m not a doctor, but I play one on tv. Actually, part of one. I am Gregory House’s leg. No, not the pretty left one, the ugly rarely seen crapped up right one. I had major problems with Season Six, but due to contractual agreements with Fox and David Shore, I had to hold my tongue (I know, legs don’t have tongues, but let it go) until now.

One misunderstanding I would like to clear up is that I hurt, okay? I hurt more some days than others, but really, IF YOU HAVE A HUGE PIECE OF MUSCLE AND BLOOD VESSELS AND FAT REMOVED, WOULDN’T YOU FEEL IT JUST A TAD?

Excuse me, but being walked on all of the time makes me cranky.

In “real life,” as people like to call that dimension I don’t live in, a leg like me couldn’t support a guy Greg’s size (we live together, he’s always cursing at me, so I think I have the right to call him by his first name) at all. Mo-fo would be in a wheelchair. But that would turn the show into—what was that show with the fat guy in the wheelchair? “Ironside,” with Burl Ives or Jackie Gleason or some shit. A leg like me would be torture to live with, day in and day out. And I was. I was one bad-ass leg.

But this season?

I’m only allowed to hurt when the writers say I hurt. Fuck “conversion disorder,” people, I HAVE A HUGE PIECE OF MUSCLE MISSING! IT HURTS, OKAY? DON’T LABEL ME!

Say it loud, I’m a leg and I hurt! Sometimes it’s a stabbing pain, sometimes it’s a throbbing pain, sometimes it’s like electric wires are being shot through me. This is NOT a fun way to live.
And you should have seen Greg once he started PT and had to drag me around. I did my best, but I HAVE A HUGE PIECE OF—sorry, I just said that, didn’t I? I don’t have a brain, it belongs to Greg, so I get a bit off topic if I’m not careful.

Oh, yeah, physical therapy. So then Greg learns to live with a cane. There are reasons you’ve never seen this part of the man’s life. It’s awkward as hell. Let me tell you a few things you’d never see on the show for a reason (Greg thinks it makes him look less cool, the asshole):

Using an umbrella. Think about it. That’s why he’s always indoors when it rains. We are talking seriously gauche, people.

Walking Hector and having to pick up his poop. Cane, leash, poop—need I say more?

Walking Hector and having to get the mail.

Getting a cup of coffee from the local Starbucks and getting his mail. We are talking obscure rock band t-shirt destruction here.

Hitting people in front of you on the back of the foot, and not on purpose. Greg almost lost his shit when this jerk yelled at him about it. I would have kicked him but I HAVE A HUGE PIECE—damn, did it again. But it’s kind of hard to forget that I HAVE A HUGE PIECE OF—never mind.

What was I talking about? Yes, I know I don’t have lips, imagine it’s the scar talking. Do you think I wanted a big honking scar on the front of me?

I was one goddamned good-looking limb before this went down.

So, the writers figured they’d have to change it up from Greg taking painkillers all the time to getting off of them (THANKS FOR NOTHING, MOTHERFUCKERS) and then being put on Advil. Advil. When I have a HUGE PIECE—actually, yes, opiates can make the pain seem worse than it is, blah blah, you reboot the system, you go to ibuprofen blah blah. Advil. Old people take Advil.

Then this whole season they couldn’t figure out how much I hurt. Most of the time it was like I didn’t hurt at all. WRONG, ASSWIPES! But I had to go along with it, because, you know, confidentiality agreements and all that, and I didn’t want to lose my job. And get amputated. Bad enough my part kept getting smaller.

Then they decided they’d let me hurt a little, then a lot, then a whole hell of a lot, still on stupid Advil! Greg rubbed me a lot, which mostly made me think about how denim is a really annoying fabric choice when you are a GINORMOUS LENGTH OF DAMAGED FLESH! Why not soft cotton khakis for work?

And then in the last episode, Greg drags me to hell and back in this giant wrecked parking garage, I get bent all kinds of ways (I think I have PTSD now), we have to go home WITHOUT the cane! So I’m not only throbbing, I’m burning, stabbing, aching, off the charts on the pain scale!

Greg doesn’t take the fucking pills! It’s not a moral decision, jerk-off, it’s PAIN! What about PAIN don’t you understand at this point? Man, I was seriously pissed, but it’s not like I have hands or a mouth or free will. I’m just a goddamned leg, for Christ’s sake.

Then Cuddy showed up and I had to act like I wasn’t in shrieking pain because Greg was getting all like “wow, she’s here, I’ve wanted to bone her since the Crusades! And I looooove her.” They kiss and through some sort of magical endorphin boner process, I’m not supposed to hurt. After one of the worst days of my life.

I tell you, if I had hands, I’d tear up my contract.

Friday, May 21, 2010

Would You Buy Fashion From Der Fuerher?

DAHLINGS -

It's official: I have no soul. It tickles me that a Sicilian boutique is outraging the world (and raising its profile) by having an ad with a pink-clad Adolf Hitler as its centerpiece. The boutique is called New Form.






There has been much fulminating in the world press over this ad, which is on huge posters. So I will spare you my particular "blah blah this is an insult to the people of the world blah blah cannot forget this infamy blah blah blah Satan blah." I think it's funny. For one thing, Hitler had notoriously bad taste in leisure wear. He mixed plaids and stripes, decades before it was accepted. And he was a coprophiliac, which had to wreak havoc with his shirts.

I already told you, I have no soul. Even my dear dead friend Lana Turner would probably agree.

The posters will soon be taken down when New Form launches its next campaign featuring Chinese Communist leader Mao Tse Tung. If you care to comment, besides informing me I have no soul, list which despot you think should be advertising fashion.

It makes such a refreshing change from Gisele Bundchen.

Ciao,

Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Vassiolios Kostetsos To Plus-Sized Women: Drop Dead!

DAHLINGS –


Having Full Figured Fashion Week on the horizon, June 16-19 in New York City, the epicenter of the universe, reminded your faithful correspondent of an interview I did with Vassilios Kostetsos during February’s Mercedes Benz Fashion Week.

(The title of this entry is a paraphrase of a famous New York Post newspaper headline; look it up.)

It was bitterly cold, both inside and outside the tents. The runways were overheated, but the main lobby was frigid. (That was the reason that I fell ill and couldn’t do proper reportage, to my shame.)

In any event, back on February 16, a number of scriveners were invited backstage to the runway tent for a five-minute-interview each with Greek designer Vassilios Kostetsos. It was an icy night. We waited outdoors until the PR crew finally got its act together and led us in. With only five minutes, I decided upon the one question among the several I had written. It was a question I ask every designer I meet:


Would you ever consider designing for a woman my size?



The inevitable answer is a glazed, disbelieving stare, followed by something along the lines of “fashion is for everybody” (translation: are you kidding?).*


The designer was extremely tall, extremely thin, in a tiny brown reptile skin jacket that barely covered the top of his chest, and blondish hair that had been painstakingly styled, gelled and sprayed to look like a frayed plate on one side of his head.


So I asked Mr. Kostetsos this question, including the request that he not say “fashion is for everybody.” I did not have to worry.
His English was not very good, but his answer was clear: no.


Stunned, I asked if that meant he felt that plus-sized women didn’t have the right to wear his clothes.

He nodded, saying (with a great many hand gestures) “Pret-a-porter, yes.” But plus size customers were...“difficult—they want everything. You give them four designs, they want twelve, then they want twenty, all of them." As if customers who weighed over 80 pounds did not deserve to have the radiant majesty of his attire desecrated by their adiposity. "I do not design this. The clothes they look wrong, they look strange. The clothes are not made for those bodies.”


To be quite frank, I was so stunned that I could not think of anything further to say. But then I was ushered out so that the next journalist could have their turn.
To give the man his due, it is hard to imagine a larger woman (or any woman for that matter) wearing this:
But these? Seriously? They would look strange on larger women??

I loudly beg to differ. It is only that his mind is even tinier than his sample sizes. As long as top-flight designers continue to enforce this prejudice, women will continue to starve themselves to emulate the stick-insects that wear these creations down the runway.


As it stands, I hope that every smaller woman who reads this blog will decide against wearing them, since the rest of us cannot.

Ciao,


Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog


* the only exception has been the exceptional Marc Bouwer, whom I interviewed last September. You can find that earlier entry in this blog.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

R.I.P. Doris Eaton, the Last Ziegfeld Girl

DAHLINGS -

I write today with a heavy heart. Doris Eaton, the longest-living of the famed Ziegfeld Girls, died yesterday at the age of 106. She was a lithe, blonde beauty, who could still dance into her tenth decade.

Many people today have no idea who Florence Ziegfeld was, or why the Ziegfeld Follies were so important to popular culture during the years of World War One. In those days, showgirls, as they were called, set the styles of the day. Ziegfeld was known as "The Glorifier Of The American Girl." He only picked the most beautiful women for his extravagant revues. The ideal measurements were bust 36, waist 26, hips 38. Excellent coloring did not matter; stage makeup took care of that. However, perfect teeth were a must.

Ziegfield's shows were legendary for their expensiveness. Many of the women's gowns cost $20,00 each. For a scene set in "The Orient," he bought silk pillows at $300 each (and this was 1916 dollars). He produced his shows at the New Amsterdam Theater, which still stands today in New York. There was even a roof garden, where less elaborate (but no less costly) revues were staged every night.

Many Ziegfeld Girls went on to become stars in their own right, as did the comedians whose job was to perform between the lavish production numbers. Ziegfeld didn't understand comedy and found none of the comics funny, but he knew they had a job to do and kept the audience reasonably entertained.

Doris Eaton went on to star in many Broadway shows, in the 1920s turning to the movies.

Marilyn Miller became a Broadway star, her name above the title on a number of musicals.

Fanny Brice became a world-famous comedy star, and was later played in two movies by Barbra Streistand.

Ann Pennington was a world-champion swimmer who invented the world's first one-piece swimsuit. It was considered so scandalous she was repeatedly arrested.

W.C. Fields, Ed Wynn, Leon Errol, and the legendary Bert Williams (the first Black comic to attain true Broadway stardom) all received their tickets to stardom by playing in the "Follies."

Eventually, Ziegfeld lost all of his money on his extravagant revues, not to mention changing tastes. His second wife was the actress Billie Burke, known to most viewers today as Glinda The Good Witch in "The Wizard of Oz."

So let us not forget Doris Eaton, healthy, lovely and happy. Here is a video made several years before her death.



Rest in peace.

Sincerely,
Elisa and Bucky the Wonderdog

Monday, May 03, 2010

Full Figured Fashion Week Is Approaching!

DAHLINGS -

Your faithful correspondent is delighted to announce that she will be one of the participants in Full Figured Fashion Week this summer! Here is the press release:

A Roundup of the Plus Size Fashion Blogger Elite: The Curvy Collective for Full Figured Fashion Week™
New York, NY (May, 01 2010)-

Plus-size fashion continues to be hotly debated, and helping to lead this charge is a dynamic group of the plus size community’s leading fashion bloggers- The Curvy Collective. Created to capture, expose, and share up-to-the-minute news for Full Figured Fashion Week ™, The Curvy Collective fashions a network of bloggers to leverage their blogs and social media platforms to facilitate the latest news.

Curvy Collective co-founders, Marie Leggette of The Curvy Fashionista and Johara Tucker, of Luvin’ My Curves, launched the collective last Spring of 2009 with the inception of Full Figured Fashion Week ™.

Back for a second year, the leading plus size fashion blogs joining the Curvy Collective include: The Curvy Fashionista, Luvin’ My Curves, A Curvy Girl’s Guide to Style, Diary of a Mad Fashionista, Fatshionista , Full Figure Plus, Life Size Radio, Musings of a Fatshionista, Madison Plus, The Big Girl Blog, Stylish Maven, and Daily Venus Divas.

The Curvy Collective will also facilitate a Full Figured Fashion Week™ panel discussion: “The State of the Curvy Community” being held at Hotel Penn on Friday, June 18th, from 4 –6:00PM. Moderated by Sharon Quinn, panelists will address the climate of plus size in the media, the progress, challenges, and successes of the curvy community.

For all press inquiries please regarding The Curvy Collective, please contact press@fffweek.com . For more information on Full Figured Fashion Week, please visit their official website at Full Figured Fashion Week ™. http://www.fffweek.com/

***********
Dahlings, it is going to be the event of the season! Keep watching my blog-thing for more exciting announcements!

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky The Wonderdog