So, here in America, Fox ran the latest episode, "A Pox On Our House." I won't go into the derivative plot lines (think "Euphoria" meets whatever episode the cat's death triggered the epiphany a few seasons ago), cardboard writing, and do not get me started on the new character Mary Sue Masters--oh, excuse me, Martha M. Masters. I might muss my coiffure.
Here's what I would do were I in charge of House:
I would drag David Shore, Katie Jacobs and John C. Kelley to a secluded place, tie them up, and say, "Write your way out of THAT, swines!"
However, first I would force them to release all of the gag reels, blooper reels, outtakes, and that very special footage of House and Wilson making out that was cut from S4 right before Wilson hooked up with Amber.
Also the very special footage of House and Wilson making out after Wilson gives House the organ.
Also the very special footage of House and Wilson making out because...well, just because.
Also the very special footage of House and Cuddy making out when they're in the car in "5 to 9".
Also the very special footage of House and Cuddy making out after the party in "Known Knowns".
Also the naked pictures of HL in his dressing room from the hidden security cameras.
Then I would present Hugh Laurie with a plane ticket back to England, so he can resume making good television.
And then I would tearfully wave good-bye to Robert Sean Leonard as he beats a hasty retreat to NY, yelling, "Free at last! Free at last!" (Actually it would be a joyful hello, since I live in New York City.)
And then I would give Omar Epps his own show. And Lisa Edelstein her own show. They would have to sign contracts not to do anything medical-related, but I still want them to keep working. P-Jac will find work soon enough.
And then I'd bring back Cameron...oops. No more show.
Have I left anyone out? 13's already gone. As is Doris Egan.
Now it's your turn. Feel free to use the comments to say what you would do if you in charge of House this season. But remember, I am always right.
Elisa & Bucky The Wonderdog