Sunday, August 01, 2010

5 Reasons Twitter Can Drive You INSANE!


As many of you know, I am a formidable presence on Twitter. It is a delightful way to make friends and intimidate people. Millions of people tweet on every single topic under the sun. If I have to explain what Twitter is and how it works, just skip this entry. It will only give you a headache.

HOWEVER, there are certain aspects of Twitter than can drive one to take an axe to one's monitor.

1) Inspirational quotes. WHY, in God's name, do celebrities, in particular, feel they have to tweet dozens of inspirational quotes instead of...oh...anything? Elizabeth Taylor tweeted 2,000 inspirational quotes in two days!! You're a goddamned celebrity! Tell us about your house, your wardrobe, who you're having sex with! Anything but another tweet from @RevRunWisdom!

2) Retweeting inspirational quotes to your followers. It's nice if "Aspire higher than your dreams" makes you feel all warm and fuzzy, but it annoys the living hell out of moi. And if I get that freaking Eleanor Roosevelt quote one more time...

3) Roger Ebert. I swear, the man tweets EVERY TEN SECONDS! When does he have time to get anything done??? With links, yet!

4) Hashtags like #thingsuglypeopledo or #youknowyougotnodickwhen. This idiocy often ends up as a "trending topic".

5) Bots. Use Jesus in a tweet, you get Bible bots. Mention music in a tweet, you get music bots. (I like the porn bots, at least.) Oh, and when I ranted about inspirational quotes on Twitter itself, MY FOLLOWERS LIST GOT FLOODED WITH QUOTE BOTS!

I'm sure I'll think of other things--when next I am on Twitter.

Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

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