Tuesday, June 09, 2009

The Tony Awards Worst Dressed 2009


The Tony Awards broadcast was truly a delightful program, as I wrote previously, but now it is time to nominate the most egregious Crimes Against Fashion committed on Sunday.

First, the woman I am certain will make all of the Worst Dressed Lists, the incomparable (and truly frightening) Dolly Parton:

I ask you, what is that draped mini-skirted horror? This is truly a woman I never want to see with her clothing off. The mind boggles.

Movie and stage star Laura Linney chose a fussy gown that did her no favors, either in the figure or the coloring department. Somehow she looks like a giant bottle of Almay liquid foundation in "Pale":

Edie Falco obviously had no time to get a dress, so she threw on this rumpled bedspread:

Neon orange does not become Sutton Foster. Although I doubt it would become anybody who wasn't a teenager in a club in a bad neighborhood:

Speaking of orange, poor Marisa Tomei, who usually does so well, made a wrong turn when she chose this Isaac Mizrahi dress, which washes out her coloring. And what is that black tulle thing vomiting out of the back? (And speaking of Isaac Mizrahi, it reminds one of something one of the lesser designers on the "The Fashion Show" would present.

Fortunately, the Tony Awards are a less dramatic affair, fashion-wise, than other awards shows. Perhaps other writers are disappointed, but yours truly was grateful for the overwhelming display of good taste.

As for other just-plain-wrong moments on the show, the one that stands out for me is the utter bastardization of "Sit Down, You're Rocking The Boat" from Guys and Dolls. Whoever thought of the alternate ending of that number should be beaten to a bloody pulp. I write that with the utmost respect, of course.

Legally Blonde was the closest thing to a musical vacuum as I have seen since I accidentally blundered into a Miley Cyrus album release party. (I was looking for a fashion awards party and went to the club down the street--I still shudder at the memory.)

More later!

Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

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