Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Ramblings On Kirstie Alley, Susan Boyle, and Others


I have the flu! NOT the swine flu, I hasten to add, but whatever it is, my head is banging and my body is not to be used for pleasure anytime soon.

However, I was determined to rise from my bed of nails to offer some random observations. My readers deserve that much.

SHAME on Kirstie Alley for calling herself "disgusting" after gaining 83 pounds. It's one more nail in the coffin of American women's self-esteem. She now looks more like the general population, are they "disgusting"? (I hear the diet experts getting on their high horses even as I dictate this.)

Only if they dress badly.

The woman was paid to lose weight, and probably went against both her natural inclinations and body type to do so. She'd had the guts to make the show "Fat Actress," and of all places she appears on "Oprah," which has become the pinnacle of heavy women's self-loathing, to declare herself disgusting. The declaration is disgusting, not the weight gain. That reminds me--

SHAME on Valerie Bertinelli for her Jenny Craig bikini ads. According to the media, she went on a special semi-fast and workout regimen to get her body ready for the ad, which makes it more dishonest than a Dick Cheney memoir. Women everywhere will curse their bodies for not being able to force them to look like Ms. Bertinelli's.

THE SUSAN BOYLE BACKLASH - while I'm glad she plucked her eyebrows (I do have some standards, mes amis), I do wish she had not dyed her hair. It's now that strange chocolate red-brown usually sported by aging male movie stars, without the blonde highlights. (Yes, I'm talking about you, Al Pacino.) I rather preferred Susan's natural silver, it was far more flattering to her coloring.

One cannot understand the sudden outburst of bile toward the poor woman--she is wonderfully talented, and no matter the media machine tries to do to her, she will always remain perfectly (and I mean that in the most flattering sense) ordinary. By that, I mean, think back to Shirley Booth.

Booth was a highly respected actress on stage and screen who created, among other characters, the original Dolly Levi in "The Matchmaker," before it was turned into "Hello, Dolly." Later, of course, she appeared on television as "Hazel".

KUDOS to Beth Ditto, Adelle, and Kelly Clarkson, all women who revel in their respective body sizes.

One sign of the apocalypse will be when Beth Ditto appears as a Jenny Craig spokeswoman.

Back to bed...

Elisa and Bucky the Wonderdog


Anoif said...

o yes.

I was kind of hoping that I was not the only one who would like Kirstie Alley to STUFF A CHEESEBURGER IN IT already.

I heard that she was going on Oprah to "apologize". I didn't watch the show... but assumed that she meant to apologize for "letting us down" by gaining weight. What she should be apologizing for is leading women to believe that Jenny Craig is a "cure" for fatness.

Just get over it already, and live your damn life, Kristie Alley. Do you really want to look back on it all and see that you spent the last 5 years doing nothing but obsessing over your weight? What a waste.

Also, if I never had to see another "bikini ad", I would be a happy girl. There's one for... some diet pill. I can't remember which one. But, this woman's like "I'm a grandmother, and I'm rocking a bikini!"

How sad. You're a grandmother, and still, the most important thing you can do is to "look hot". Please take up some sort of humanitarian work. There are people in need who would benefit from all of your spare time and money.

On a related note, I would like to push Kathy Griffin and her "bikini body" to the ground, and sit on her head with extreme prejudice. >=(

Anyway. Thank you for this rant. It made me feel warm and fuzzy inside. :D

Hoardmeister said...

Thank you, dahling! It is comments like yours that make what I do feel worthwhile.