Sunday, February 15, 2009

Shut Up, Dolly Parton: Leave Jessica Simpson ALONE!


Sorry to digress from the all-important Fashion Week Fall 2009, but I simply had to vent my deep aggravation over the scalpel's best friend (after Joan Rivers), Dolly Parton, "defending" Jessica Simpson for looking beautiful and curvaceous!

On Larry King Live, Ms. Parton said, "I've been fat and I've been skinny, and I'm not about to say anything about somebody else's weight, because I know how hard it is when you gain five or six pounds."


Of course, being under the Bryant Park tents is being in a parallel universe, what with the paramedics standing by with crash carts filled with Ensure, Glucerna and meth to keep the models going. Your faithful correspondent thinks she got a paper cut on her upper arm when brushing past Coco Rocha (watch out for those shoulder blades!), and it stings, which only adds to my mood.

Now, hear this, media morons:

Jessica Simpson looks beautiful. Jessica Simpson looks healthy. Jessica Simpson looks sexy.

photo by Dlisted

Repeat this mantra until you find something more interesting to cover. And yes, I know she is wearing a "skort," but frankly, my dears, I don't give a damn.

As amazingly talented and wonderful as she is, Dolly Parton has not resembled a real human being since the 1980s.

Photo: Reuters

With that I must dash--time to start pushing into the Herve' Leger by Max Azria show.

Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog


Jesse R said...

bravo, fashionista!

Beth said...

The thing with Dolly is that she is so petite so for her 5 or 6 pounds is what 15-20 lbs would be on someone taller.

Hoardmeister said...

Beth--and your point is??

Beth said...

I was just saying that in Dolly's mind (she's what... like 5 feet tall?) so for her a 5 or 6 lb weight gain is really noticeable... of course, with Dolly who notices anything much beyond her hair and boobs?

(and yeah, her comment was thoughtless for anyone who weighs more then 125 lbs- or 90 lbs in the case of most models/ celebs)

Market Publique said...

I think skorts need to make a comeback!

I'ts Cosmic Rock... said...

Finaly Jessica looks like a woman and not like that shrimp Dolly! My God all that money and no life!! Poor thing! Lets hope that Jessica's wieght gaining has effected her brain in a good way aswell? 'cause her intellect is just like Dolly's body and brain: nada! Either way: skinny or fat: it's a healthy caracter that gets you through life...