Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Golden Globes 2009: MY Worst Dressed!

DAHLINGS -

I realize that some of my choices will go against the popular grain, but one must be true to oneself, n'cest pas? Some are based not only on the gowns, but the overall presentation as well, which may also be against the popular grain.

First, however, the overwhelming favorite for Worst Dressed At the Golden Globes:
Renee Zellwegger.

She went to her favorite designer, Carolina Herrera.
What on EARTH were they thinking? This looks like an unfinished project on Project Runway! There's the shapeless muslin underbodice (in close-up you can see the stitching that holds it to the skirt); the visible back zipper at the waist; the badly bungled sheer sleeves; the skirt would be all right if the top was not so ill-conceived. The underbodice might even have worked if it had been in a solid color, say indigo blue. One does not like to use the word disaster, because Hurricane Katrina was a disaster. This is merely a very ugly dress. As for Renee's hair, well, it might have worked with something a little less...awful.

Marisa Tomei will not be on this list because at least she was wearing something comfortable and true to herself amidst a bobbing pond of safety.

Anne Hathaway

This brilliant young actress made many Best Dressed lists in this navy Armani gown, but her gaunt appearance is so off-putting, and the dress seems too heavy and to only highlight the fact that she is badly in need of some decent meals. One does hope she is not going the way of Audrey Hepburn, who in her later years wore dresses like this and showed the sharpest collarbones this side of a Wusthof chef's knife.

Olivia Wilde and Eva Longoria

Again, two frighteningly razor-thin actresses who made many of the Best Dressed Lists. The House co-star Wilde opts to go for a fluffy skirt in a dress by Reem Acra, which makes her look like one of those dolls they used to put over toilet paper rolls. (However, on the show she does play a character who might be dieing, so perhaps the producers have put her on reduced rations. Jennifer Morrison, her co-star, looked smashing and quite healthy.)

Eva Longoria also chose Reem Acra for the red carpet, in a mermaid style. One critic said Eva's gown looked as though it had as many Botox treatments as the actress herself; I could not have put it better. Ladies, cover up those stick-like arms!

So that is my list. It might seem a tad short, but so many stars opted for dull over anything else. White, off-white, cream, gray, flesh, champagne...one could get narcolepsy just browsing the photos.

Beyonce looked very nice, even if her body tape showed in many photographs, and Christina Hendrix (Mad Men) showed off her smashing figure in the lovely black number:

I have a slight quibble with how rumpled the neckline looks, but one must keep an open mind.

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

3 comments:

julie said...

great list, elisa, but where is J jennifer lopez??? maybe she didn't make it because what she was wearing didn't count as a "dress"?

julie

Hoardmeister said...

To answer your question, Julie dahling, I covered her in my previous post on Best Dressed. She didn't make the cut, but my comments can be found there. She wore a gold Marchesa copy of the 2000 Versace dress that first brought her to public notice, which might have not been the best idea.

julie said...

hey i even read that post - lol! sorry, my memory isn't what it should be. i agree, she had the figure for it, but to me, that particular dress doesn't flatter.

great blog - off to check the three tomatoes!

ciao,
julie