Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Merry Christmas & Happy Chanukah To All!

DAHLINGS -

I am off to a dear male friend's yacht, the better to escape the frigid New York City winds (no names, you know I am the essence of secrecy, unless it's not about moi). Dear little Bucky tends to get a bit seasick, but as long as he vomits on the servants, that should not be a problem. I shall be gone until after the holiday at the very least!

Merry Christmas and Happy Chanukah to all of my beloved readers, far and wide. May your wishes come true in 2009, be they for health, happiness or something a bit more twisted. I am a woman of broad mind and loose morals, so I do not judge.

Joyeux Noël et Chanukah heureux, chéris !



Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Christmas Gift Ideas For Milady On Sale Now!

DAHLINGS -

Not only are we feverishly working to list gowns, we are stocking our store with gift ideas for all budgets and tastes! Particularly if Milady loves vintage! (You can buy gifts for yourself as well, we won't tell.)




These items can be found at Elisa's Bodacious House of Style:
http://stores.ebay.com/Elisas-Bodacious-House-of-Style

If you want to, as they say, "knock her socks off," give the gift of total luxury, including this spectacular sheared beaver jacket, listed at my Fashiondig store:


http://tinyurl.com/53hq84


And much more! Back to scream at my assistant...a woman's work is never done, particularly when the help are such idiots.

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

Monday, December 15, 2008

Plus Size Holiday Dresses Up Now!

DAHLINGS -

Did you really think I would neglect my beloved readers in their holiday time of need? Perish the thought! We have been working feverishly in my atelier, readying a group of party dresses guaranteed to make you the woman every man wants to get to know! Here is a sampling of what will be going up this week at Elisa's Bodacious House of Style:



That is but a small sampling of delights to come! So go to http://stores.ebay.com/Elisas-Bodacious-House-of Style and revel in the selection!

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Lana Turner On Life, Death, and B.F. Skinner

DAHLINGS -

Last night I was visited by my dear dead friend Lana Turner. Has there ever been such a gorgeous creature?



I should preface this by telling my readers about my activity earlier in the evening: visiting a friend whose aunt had died recently. She needed help in selling her aunt's belongings (no clothes, but vous ne pouvez pas tout avoir).

In her aunt's bedroom, my friend sobbed in my arms. I thought about how often I have been at scenes such as this, since my business is at least partly through referrals. One arrives at the deceased's apartment or house, and there is always a distraught relative or two who not only need to sell their beloved's worldly goods but are plunged in grief to boot. Not a good combination. Ideally one is brought in after the family has packed up what they wanted and there is no one there but a worker or two. However, the circumstances are rarely ideal. My heart (yes, I have one) ached for my dear friend and the pain she was in.

When I returned to my beautiful Central Park West apartment and Bucky, I picked him up, despite his snarls. And thought about how very sad it all was, and how draining. But if one does not provide this service, what then? Dumpsters filled with "old junk," as the lumpkins call it.

As I sat, wrapped in mink and thought, Bucky struggling in my arms, Lana appeared to me, as beautiful as ever. It really is a pity she can't appear in color, but that's why they call them "shades."



"Hiya, kiddo," she greeted me. "Say, what's got you so down in the mouth?"

"It seems rather an odd thing to say to you," I replied, "but death. Death is so very depressing. Mine can be such a morbid profession, Lana."

She put her hands on her perfect hips. A tiny frown appeared. "Quit it, will you? And put that poor dog down before he bites your hand again. Remember how last time you had to go to the emergency room? Anyway, yes, there's no two ways around it, death is no song and dance. I've seen it from both sides, kiddo, and I know. But you know the old saying, without death there is no life."

"I've never heard of such a thing." Bucky's growls were reaching a crescendo. Rather than have my petal-soft skin pierced by sharp miniature pinscher teeth, I let Bucky slide to the floor, where he promptly began gnawing on what used to be a stuffed toy.

"Something like that. You know, cycles, to everything there is a season, turn, turn, turn, gee, philosophy gets me all mixed up." Lana folded her arms. "It's like that question the guy asked in the Miss Universe contest a few years ago. He asked one of the girls: If you could live forever, would you and why? She came back with, I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever. You get me?"

For once, your faithful correspondent was stuck for an answer.

"Listen, dying stinks, no two ways about it. Having someone you love die also stinks. But being dead isn't so bad. You meet a lot of fascinating people in the afterlife. I met John Kenneth Galbraith. Didn't understand a word he said, but he was cute!"

"You think every man is cute, Lana dear." I could not help smiling. "And you are right, it is part of the eternal cycle. And my tiny--although integral--part in it is to keep precious objects from vanishing into garbage piles on tugboats, or being made into rag bundles." I sat up. "You know, I feel better already. Why don't we go into my sitting room and catch up on all of the gossip? Between the living and the dead, there is miles of territory to cover!"

"You're telling me?" she giggled. "Wait til I tell you about spending some time with B.F. Skinner--talk about peculiar! He kept talking about putting me in a box and giving me food pelletts. What kind of crazy fetish is that?"



"Most dead intellectuals are a bit insane, my dear."

"By the way, Bucky has an ear infection. That's why he's being such a little grump."

"Why thank you, Lana! Off to the vet first thing in the AM!"

We headed for the sitting room for a refreshing cocktail; at least, for moi.

I'm afraid the rest of our chat will have to remain confidential. Thank goodness for Lana Turner. For a dead movie star, she has an uncommon amount of common sense.

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

Saturday, December 06, 2008

The Rumors Aren't True...Anna Wintour STAYS!

DAHLINGS -

Imagine my relief when I read numerous rebuttals to the rumor thatmy darling Anna Wintour would be replaced at Vogue! Si Newhouse and even Roitfeld's daughter have said absolutely non to the proposed change.

Les mots ne peuvent exprimer mon secours.

My sincerest apologies to any French friends my previous entry might have offended, but I was writing (or dictating, as the case may be) out of pure emotion. A mixture of terror, grief, and a fear that suddenly American females would be expected not to wear lipstick anymore.

More later, mon chers -

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Mon Dieu! Terrible Rumors About Anna Wintour!!!

DAHLINGS -

As you know, I am the last word in discreet. Far be it from moi to spread rumors, but possibly terrible news has reached my shell-like ears:

Anna Wintour may be replaced at Vogue!

Non! Il ne peut pas être! C'est un scandale, je vous le dis, un crime au-delà des mots! Je suis sans voix! Les mots me manquent! Non! Non!

Non!

I knew there had to be a reason she had gone blonde.



According to online sources, Condé Nast overlord Si Newhouse departed early for his annual three-week December vacation in Vienna. It seems that he needed time for a meeting with French Vogue's éditeur de femmes Carine Roitfeld! Oh, the humanity!

But how can the editor of such a small part of the Condé Nast empire fill Anna's exquisitely fitted high heels? No one loves the French better than moi, but let us be entirely honest, mon cher readers. During Spring Fashion Week, Roitfeld confessed to disliking business, to being a stylist first and foremost. The Français diable must have been talking out of the other side of her face, if you get my drift.
The woman doesn't even wear lipstick! Yes, yes, we all blather about how stylish the Parisians are, but do you think Roitfeld has what it takes to oversee a magazine that speaks to millions of American readers?? Next to America, France is a bit of a cow town, no matter how many books Americans write about Frenchwomen never being fat. (I've seen them, and I know what a base canard that is.)

This is like asking Sarah Palin to be President. Thank GOD it never came to that!

And what will happen to darling Andre Leon Talley? We've reconciled since his (ugh) friendship with Rachel Zoe. We simply have an agreement that he never mentions her name in front of me, or I will sic Bucky the Wonderdog on him. Where will Andre go? I simply cannot envision him hosting a show on the Style Network! Oh, how the mighty might fall!

The word is that this is part of a cost-cutting move by Newhouse because Mens Vogue and Fashion Rocks have flopped, and dear Anna commands a two million dollar salary. Plus perks and undying devotion from yours truly.
One hopes Anna can find comfort in the arms of Roger Federer. Failing him, Michael Phelps. Phelps will sleep with anyone when he's drunk enough, although you didn't hear it from moi.

Now, how on earth did I get into the topic of Michael Phelps's sex life?? I am sorry to be getting so exercised, I must go lie down and have the maid dab my temples with eau-de-cologne. Oh, the economy!

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

Monday, December 01, 2008

CYBER MONDAY IS HERE!

DAHLINGS -

Cyber Monday is here...now, will somebody explain to me what that is?

I believe one is supposed to trumpet one's merchandise on sale to drum up business. How this differs from all of the other times is beyond me, but since my email box is overflowing with emails screaming "CYBER MONDAY", I suppose I must scamper with the other lemmings.

First of all, as you know, in my (ugh) Ebay store, Elisa's Bodacious House of Style, I'm strewing bargains right and left! First, this enormous wholesale lot of over 100 items of men's and women's vintage in three huge boxes, described in an earlier entry:


Ending over the next two days,
a) this heavy wool tweed black and white vintage coat, XXL, with flecks of bright blue and red in the tweed:

SOLD!

b) This 80s acidwashed unisex jacket, with pearly beaded trim on the front and back yoke, back seam, and silver topstitching:

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&rd=1&item=390012743014
c) These blue satin pumps, size 12M, with rhinestone-studded bows on the toes, originally $135:

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&rd=1&item=390012737225
d) This glamorous nylon jersey Empire Waist evening gown, trimmed with silver pearl bead embroidery around the neckline and bust, XXL:

SOLD!
e) To smell like heaven, dust this Hypnotique by Max Factor dusting powder over yourself. Comes sealed, with powder and monogrammed satin puff!

SOLD!

Meanwhile, over at the Mad Fashionista's Plus Size Boutique on Specialist Auctions, you can find gems such as this elegant emerald Bill Levkoff off-the-shoulder evening gown, size 1X:

SOLD!

How about this vintage 30s gold lame' evening clutch, dahlings?

http://www.specialistauctions.com/auctiondetails.php?id=1144194

If you are willing to splurge a bit more, at the Mad Fashionista's Plus Size Boutique on Fashiondig, you'll find these treasures. We're still getting established over there, so the selection is not quite as large as at my other shops, but do go have a look.

What about this magnificent heavy silk jacquard gold dress, size XL, to go with your clutch?

There is this sheared honey beaver vintage custom made ski jacket, size XL, as soft as a cloud!

http://www.fashiondig.com/shop/detail.asp?ItemMasterID=20206&ItemID=35702

A glam-rock 70s silver faux leather floor-length coat, size M/L with rhinestone buttons and a back belt:

http://www.fashiondig.com/shop/detail.asp?ItemMasterID=20155&ItemID=35651

A vintage black/white cross mink beret:

SOLD!


Any item purchased from my shops can be gift-wrapped and sent to the recipient of your choice. Just let me know and I'll get one of my assistants on it. Not the one who got her hands all wrapped up in packing tape, of course.

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog