Thursday, July 24, 2008

Project Runway: Hayden Panettiere In A Woodchipper


Joe is clearly as amazed as moi at Suede’s win.

For THIS???

Here the model is thinking, "I don't remember buying entrails at Mood."

I think the headline sums up my feelings. I was simply stunned, as were my viewing companions. Our heads whipped around as we stared at each other in shock.



This horrendous thing, the result of the challenge (not only dressing your model as your client, but having the model pick out the fabric, and it had to be "eco-friendly," God help us all), won!

It is at those moments one hears Patou screaming in the night.

Your faithful correspondent thinks that Terri was robbed. Not even in the top three! And her creation was barely seen on television in the runway show.

Stella, meanwhile, faced with the challenge of not working with her beloved “leatha,” whined, whined, whined, in her cartoonish Fran Drescher accent. Her champagne satin dress was dull and not worthy of being in the top three. However, Stella’s work was far superior to what one of the contestants called “Team Brown Ugly Fabric.” Wesley's, uh, creation:

No wonder Wesley was auf'ed, although I would have preferred to see the last of Leanne, the self-described "silent fashion assassin." A real assassin does not break under pressure, little girl.

My guests were wondering, why aren't the designers listening to Tim the way they did in previous seasons? One guest hypothesized that now that three of the judges are extremely known quantities, the designers are working more to please Heidi, Nina and Michael The Overly Made Up than they are trying to express their creativity.

Frau Heidi Klum was in full dominatrix mode, in a black bustier and miniskirt, the usual sadistic glint in her eye. Guest judge Natalie Portman had a terrified, deer in the headlights look in her eyes when she first came out. And she gamely tried to dodge being poked in the eye by Heidi's bustier as the German witch towered over her.

Natalie did seem genuinely sad at the outcome, the one spot of human emotion amongst the judges. Some have said it was because of Wesley being auf'ed, but I think she realized what a mistake she had made in inflicting Suede's dress on the great American public.

One pities the poor Bluefly designer who has to recreate it for consumer consumption! One hears his/her screams joining Patou's in the night.

More later,dahlings -

Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

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