Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Inside Bluefly.com - Mass Producing Suede's, Uh, Dress

INTERIOR: Bluefly design room. Table of overworked fashion designers and assistants staring in horror at Suede's design. The head designer gazes at his lackeys, about the choose the unfortunate who will replicate the dress-thing for mass consumption on Bluefly.com.

FIRST DESIGNER: "Oh My Sweet JESUS, I cannot reproduce that thing! It looks like a uterus badly wrapped in gold ribbon. " (PAUSE) "I don't? Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you..."

SECOND DESIGNER:"Pleeeeeeze don't make me, pleeeeze. Mother of mercy, it looks like some alien space creature puked up blood and an old prom dress! Pleeeeze, I promise to do anything if you won't make me do this. I'll make you double espressos every morning. I'll suck you silly if you let me off the hook this time. What? Oh, God bless you, I can sleep tonight."

THIRD DESIGNER: (Realizing it is on him): '"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..."

As camera irises up and out over his screaming figure.

Voiceover in black:
"Suede is happy now. Suede is very, very happy. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

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