Wednesday, May 14, 2008

How Does Ebay Resemble A Suicidal Teenager?


First of all, a disclaimer: there is no disrepect intended towards suicidal teenagers, their families and friends in this blog-thing. One recognizes the pain that such things cause in what is laughingly called "real life." I know--sometimes I watch the news on television.

However, what teenager has not harbored thoughts, however fleeting, of doing themselves in? I am firmly convinced that the new CEO of Ebay, John Donohoe, must have had a simply ghastly childhood and is bent on self-destruction. And he means to take (ugh) Ebay with him.

For instance, this recent article from the ever-authoritative Ina Steiner of

It details the feedback changes to come next week on Ebay, in which most seller's feedback will plummet due to recalculations. The reason for these changes are only known to those cackling demons that sit in Ebay's boardroom in the fifth circle of Hell.

With each passing week, changes are made that make it increasingly hard to sell on Ebay. For instance, the Ebay-owned company Paypal does not prints First Class International postage, even though it offers it in listings as a shipping option! Sellers are often forced to charge international buyers Priority Mail (yes, I know the dollar is down and every country short of Zambia has more money than the USA, but still...). Do you think it is enjoyable to charge $37 to ship a box of dresses to Australia?

Not only that, there is something called a DSR rating. Trying to figure it out sends me to the divan with a cold cloth on my forehead. However, this obscure, meaningless...thing...will be determining where one turns up in Search on Ebay. Oh, and as the young folk say, do not get me started about Best Match!

I have already written about the imminent change where sellers will no longer be able to leave negative feedback for buyers, but not vice versa. That's something to look forward to, eh? A few bad apples and the whole barrel will rot.

In addition (the list goes on) Ebay is being sued right and left, most recently by Craig's List for fiduciary interference.

If Ebay was a teenager, it would have a fifth of vodka on the front seat and be driving toward an oncoming oak tree. Don't say I didn't warn you. An intervention is needed. Federal Trade Commission, are you listening?

Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog


Anonymous said...

My dear, being oh so gothically Goth, I was on my usual visit to the Inferno (not to be confused with Disco Inferno which is that Other Place), and found that eBay's #1 has actually been thrown out of the 5th circle by the Wrathful - a noisy, outspoken bunch, some of them slumming 1st circle Powersellers, whom he had irritated beyond belief. The Heretics in the 6th circle didn't want him, either, as he's a rubbish debater, so he ended up in the 4th circle with the Avaricious.

Suthrnjewl said...

I found your blog via Auctionbytes.
Here Here!
I posted a link to your blog entry on my forum Auction Sellers Motivators...feel free to drop in and discuss with other eBay sellers the new and oh so improved, sarcasm insinuated, eBay.,

Hoardmeister said...

Thank you so much, dahling. One likes to see one's work appreciated. I have more to say upon the subject, now that the new feedback system is firmly in place and creating havoc.

Henrietta said...

Might ought to correct Ina's last name, it is STEINER.

Hoardmeister said...

Yes, I might ought to, oughtn't I?

Lillian said...

I am thinking of selling some of my clearance items on eBay, but the changes keep me delaying. First it was rating the shipping, now sellers can't give negative feedback, now no link on the about us page.


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