Sunday, January 06, 2008

Project Runway's One Hour Hershey Commercial

DAHLINGS –

Isn't it annoying enough that in every episode of Project Runway we have to hear about the "Tresemme Salon," the Bluefly accessories, and Heidi Klum's hideous jewelry?? And then to have this week's challenge to be a one-hour Hershey's Candy commercial! The sheer affrontery! What next, dresses made out of Rubbermaid products? "Designers, make it work", indeed.

As I mentioned in my last, hasty blog-thing, I was relieved to see Elisa Jimenez get auf’d. Yes, yes, she was a character, she had a personality (unlike—who is that blonde person with stuff in her hair—the name escapes me—something feline—never mind). But my dears, spitting on fabric, all of those ludicrous noises, that stoned smile…but worst of all, that dreck, er, dress.



The only thing worse than the front is the back, which unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately) was not photographed. Suffice to say it made the front look lovely.

Please bear in mind that I am deeply sympathetic to those who have suffered traumatic brain injury (although it did not escape one’s notice that the show’s writers saw fit not to mention it until this episode, thus insuring maximum manufactured sympathy for the poor thing).

Nevertheless, once again, one imagines the writer’s room:

“If it bleeds, it leads! The crazy babe had her head split open! America’s gonna cry its guts out when she’s auf’d! Even that bitch Heidi will have to act like she cares! Top THAT, Housewives of Orange County!”

One must admit it was a bit of a surprise that Victorya survived this debacle.



Watching the model go down the runway caused your faithful correspondent motion sickness. (One might have thought the model had the traumatic brain injury and was only now learning to walk. Oh, dear, I do hope that’s not an upcoming challenge...)

My darling huggy-bear Chris came through beautifully, obviously he has finally listened to Tim telling him to get his head out of Disneyland and into the retail business. I feel so proud…almost like a mother… although of course I am far too young.



Rami won for this creation, although as others have pointed out, one cannot be not certain whether or not he won because of the dress or because guest judge Zac Posen was drooling over the designer himself.



As for moi, I believe Kevin should have won. Look at this classic style, the craftsmanship, the fit!



Call me old-fashioned, call me a traditionalist, but mon cher amis, this was the only outfit that was wearable. (I believe that before the hapless designers were unleashed in the Hershey store they were told to make a "wearable outfit"? ) By wearable, I mean that a human being could wear it. Outside of a television studio.

Of course, I might sign a different tune if I myself had a corporate sponsor. Feel free to take the hint, Tobelerone. Or Godiva. Or hell, even Nestlé.

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

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Hoardmeister said...

Thank you for the spam, dahling.