I am sitting here on a balmy summer evening, listening to the ocean crash against the beach at my beautiful (featured in Architectural Digest) oceanfront mansion, a cold glass of gin and tonic in my perfectly manicured hand. My guests have gone back to New York, Los Angeles, Paris...What could be better?
Well, it would be even better if I didn't have my back to the ocean, dictating this to my idiotic personal assistant--
NO, YOU CANNOT HAVE A DRINK! YOU CAN HAVE SOME SODA AFTER YOU ARE FINISHED WORKING! IF INDEED YOU EVER DO.
Oh, mon dieu, the thing has started crying.
(There will be a brief pause, while the maid fetches some tissues.) Here, have a sip of my drink, it will make you feel better. But spellcheck RIGOROUSLY when we are finished.
In any event, this marvelous weather, the sand between my toes, my shapely form displayed to all in a magnificent vintage Rose Marie Reid bathing suit, had me thinking that I should offer you, mes enfants, some suits to summer in (and to take to resorts during the cold weather)! They are all L or XL. After all, why should I be the only one splendid at poolside? Besides, you'll never be important enough to visit the resorts I spend my time in with the rich and famous.
First, we have a feminine confection from Gabar New York, courtesy of Saks Fifth Avenue. It has a sarong skirt, and like all of the suits, adjustable back button staps, metal zippers and back elastic inserts. Not to mention a boned bodice and green corded trim. You'll be quite the siren in this floral lovely!
Forgive the color variations, my assistant took the photos. Next we have a delightful pleated shelf bust skirted suit in nylon taffeta, made in Hawaii for B. Altman & Co.
Oh mon Seigneur doux dans le Ciel! It has already sold with the Buy It Now feature, and was only listed last night! Well, gaze upon it and weep.
Later this week, I will be listing this suit from B. Altman & Company, also XL, in 100% cotton, with a petal shaped skirt and attached panties, in a lovely black floral. The inside actually has a tummy control panel, as well as a back metal zipper.
Finally, this is not, strictly speaking, a swimsuit. It is vintage 60s cotton romper, in sweet pastel stripes, 100% cotton with a full white cotton lining, also XL. It has charming double cord straps, a back metal zipper, and boy legs.
If you want to be cool, comfortable and fashionable this August, these are for vous. Now to return to my deck and if this is not perfectly spelled, there will be hell to pay.
You think she'd be grateful for the free room and board, wouldn't you? Some people don't know when they have it bon.
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog