Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Rosie O'Donnell Is Simply Insufferable!

My goodness gracious, dahlings.

It's getting so that if you turn your television on in the mornings to anything but Turner Classic Movies, you are taking your very life into your hands!

My topic today is Rosie O'Donnell's behavior on "The View." It is at the tip of everyone's tongue (especially if they are women who like to dress in extremely masculine clothes and pomade their hair). The woman must be stopped. Yesterday she attacked Joy Behar. Now, Ms. Behar dresses abominably. But she is tres amusant and seems like someone it would be enjoyable to have a glass of Scotch with. However, Rosie said of her, "It's this witch I can't stand." Now if that isn't the pot belly calling the kettle black I don't know what is. Ordinarily I would defend one of my large-size sisters, but really, Rosie must be stopped. Does one need to spend one's mornings looking at an enraged bull-dyke in primary colors? "The View" is rapidly turning into the late unlamented "The McLaughlin Report."

The only woman angrier than Rosie O'Donnell is Mrs. Cheney, which is why the latter is assiduously never shown. Come to think of it, neither is her husband, but no matter. Rosie's eyes absolutely SIMMER with rage, dahlings. Perhaps some medication is in order, and I don't mean for moi in this instance. Now, why is Rosie so angry? She is famous, married to a lovely woman, has a number of children and more money than George Bush. Not choices that I would make (except the money and fame), but honestly.

I do hope it is not her weight, which after all she has always worn beautifully. She is comfortable with her body. If anything, I would put her in clothes that emphasize her size and her sexual preference. Do away with the bulky blazers and black underlayers! Choose beautifully tailored menswear with plenty of cleavage, wingtip shoes, and bold jewelry. We are talking silk blouses in those bright colors she loves, and perhaps gray pinstripes in a cashmere/linen blend. Now, don't you think that would make the poor woman feel better?

That's my advice to ALL of you, dahlings. Celebrate who you are! Even Bucky sulks if I put on his plain black harness...he much prefers the Burberry. But not the Chanel, he tends to be a bit overly macho. But that is how miniature pinschers are.

Speaking of celebrations, I shall be listing more beautiful things today...silk dresses, silk blouses, coats...every piece of clothing a celebration of you. As long as you buy it, of course.

Ciao for now,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

3 comments:

Nabeel said...

the sidebar appears for the month of august too

Rosie O Donnell has been a disgrace the moment she came out of the closet ..

Hoardmeister said...

Yes, some things should never come out of the closet, rather like aqua polyester leisure suits.

troymoto60 said...

my gut feeling and or hopes dreams and wishes for "rosie, oh, rosie your're such a defender of ......yourself" is that she goes on letterman and he hands her big fat ass on an upolitically correct platter.

amen