How Planned Parenthood Saved Me

In the wake of the Komen Foundation's baffling decision to stop funding Planned Parenthood, I decided to reprint this entry from May 2011.

DAHLINGS -

I do not dwell in the past, but the battles over the reproductive rights of women compel me to reveal a few pertinent facts. Planned Parenthood was the only resource when I was a young woman--a young, upper-middle class woman with a good education and family background--that helped women of every class and nationality, in confidence.Today Planned Parenthood is so often presented (not always transparently) as a program that is targeted at minorities and encourages promiscuity.

THAT IS SO IDIOTIC THAT IT DEFIES BELIEF!

Ahem.

It is not a matter of pro-life/pro-choice, it is a matter of WOMAN CONTROLLING THEIR REPRODUCTIVE DESTINIES RATHER THAN THEIR REPRODUCTIVE SYSTEMS CONTROLLING THEM. It is about women's health, not only abortion. Contraception, family planning, prenatal care.

What, in God's name, is so hard to understand about that? Oh, pardonnez moi, 95% of the politicians voting to cut funding are male. It's not going to have an impact on their day to day lives. ONLY ALL OF THE WOMEN IN THEIR CONSTITUENCY!!!As the Reverend Debra Haffner writes: "Access to maternal health care, contraception and family planning services can and should be available to all women, regardless of nationality, geography, economic status or other factors. "http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rev-debra-haffner/celebrate-mothers-locally_b_858048.html

I am not used to being outraged, dear readers, but this is simply too much to bear. My story, in brief. When I was a young woman, I was extremely attractive to the opposite sex. (Thank goodness some things never change.)

As my dear darling Mama had taught me, I was religious about birth control. I never had unprotected sex.

At 21, I missed several periods. I was panicked. I couldn't tell anyone. I was afraid to tell my ob/gyn. Partly because I was 21 and things like this were not supposed to happen to moi.

Pregnancy happened to careless, low-class women. Never to moi.

The only option was to go to the Planned Parenthood clinic in New York City, although I lived outside the city at the time. I was examined, and the doctor told me the most beautiful words in the world:"You're not pregnant."

The burden fell off my shoulders, and I resumed my life, both practical and romantic. Again, I was religious about birth control. Perhaps my taste in partners was occasionally lacking, but not my protection of myself. It happened again. This time with all of the symptoms that went along with being enciente. I was still young, unmarried, with absolutely no desire for children. What could have gone wrong? I was so careful!

Again, I sought out Planned Parenthood. Again, it was a false alarm. Faithful readers, if an abortion had been called for either time, I would have had one in a heartbeat. I was far too young, far too inexperienced, with no interest in having a child. I would have been a terrible mother. Je ne regrette rien. It happened once again, in the weeks before my marriage. We knew we couldn't afford to have a baby. My fiance was in school. Abortion was our only option. We were devastated, but it would have been the only feasible choice. Again, Planned Parenthood. Again, a false alarm.

Years later I researched a novel (yes, your faithful correspondent has some skeletons in her past, including some unpublished novels) about a young woman whose father is an abortionist, circa 1916. The lack of women's choices in those days, both in love and in work, fascinated me. (Also I adored the clothes, a major component in writing an historical novel. At least for moi.)For research, I went to the Planned Parenthood main office and archives. These were in the days before the loonies started destroying the material--although it had just started.

Over the weeks I read dozens of articles, personal stories, medical journals, etc. All described the horror of life before accessible birth control. Back alley abortions, suicide, women chained in unhappy marriages, women literally unable to STOP having children whether they wanted to or not. Millions of unwanted children raised by miserable or cold, uncaring mothers. Fathers trapped in jobs because they had so many mouths to feed.

"Down With The Abortion Clause" Kathe Kollwitz,1924


THERE WAS NO CHOICE. AT ALL. UNLESS YOU WANTED TO RISK DEATH.

Or join a convent, but that seems a tad extreme, don't you think? Some members of the government dream of going back to that happy time! There is more to say upon the topic, but I shall save it for another entry. Dear readers, do not let the government slash Planned Parenthood funding. They help prevent more unwanted children coming into the world and the women without the money or too frightened to get the help they need.

Ciao,

Elisa & Fletcher


P.S. I still use birth control conscientiously. And recommend that my readers do the same. Planned Parenthood is an excellent resource.

A Valentine's Day Special From Leading Lady Bras

DAHLINGS -

Far be it from me to withhold the gift of uplift to my fellow larger lovelies! Today I received the following press release:

This Valentine's Day We're Sharing the LOVE from the Intimates, Out

LEADING LADY wants women everywhere to slip into "sexy" with a new bra and a perfect fit to enhance their curves!

New fans can Like us on Facebook for an introductory 10% discount code. All of our fans can Tweet "I LOVE @LeadingLadyBras" TODAY and on VALENTINE'S DAY and receive a 10% discount code. The codes can be used at our e-boutique during the entire month of February. So go on -- Spread the word, Share the Love!

Promotion codes are good for one per person. Cannot be combined with any other coupon offers. Discount applied at check out. Expires 02/29/12

***************************
Disclaimer: your faithful correspondent has "road-tested" two Leading Lady bras, size 42DD. This bra was lovely and gave excellent support and (most important) projection:




Scalloped Lace Underwire Bra

















The other bra was, simply, the largest bra I have ever worn. Not in bra size, but in size. The neckline almost reached my collarbone. It fit well, but let us say, that it is not exactly this writer's preferred look. A woman who feels she needs maximum support would undoubtedly find this more to her taste.









Molded Seamless Wirefree Bra












I urge you to go to their website and browse their extensive selection of full-figure and nursing bras. You shall be pleasantly surprised.

Ciao,
Elisa

Review: House Season 8 Ep. 10, "Runaways"

DAHLINGS -

It would seem that, in its return to basics, “House” has established several ongoing motifs.

1) The team does almost all of its work without him. However, House
occasionally swings by for the epiphany. Or to say “put him on interferon”.
2)There is an amazing amount of time spent on meaningless mind games and
high-larious pranks.
3) Park is quirky and says “surprising” things.
4) Adams is a hologram.
5) Foreman is in almost every scene. Which is odd, because he’s not on the team
anymore. As Dean of Medicine, he’s getting more screen time than Cuddy did. I adore Foreman, but really. Doesn’t he have a large teaching hospital to run?

On a cheerier note, your faithful correspendent could actually recall this week’s episode, “Runaways.” Last week’s episode, “Better Half,” was so dull it could have been a filmed blocking rehearsal. Even now I can’t remember the plot…oh, yes, early onset Alzheimer’s, a fascinating, tragic disease that the show managed to make neither fascinating nor tragic. It was even irritating when House spoke Portuguese. Yes, House knows every single language ever invented, but please, just once, show, have a translator come in! There was some kind of prank war. And fisticuffs.

What “Better Half” clearly demonstrated was that the chemistry between House and Wilson seems to have evaporated. The rapport is no longer, the relationship is no longer there, it’s two actors in a room. Neither of them particularly interested in what’s going on.

Hmmm, I remembered more than I thought I would.

Back to “Runaways.”

Right at the top, House announces for the 107,406,321th time, “People don’t change.”

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, BANISH THIS PHRASE TO THE BLACK HOLE OF WRITER’S PURGATORY! PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE NEVER USE IT AGAIN! IS IT SO MUCH TO ASK THAT IN A SEA OF CLICHÉS, YOU CAN’T LEAVE OUT ONE???

Ahem. I beg your pardon. It’s a bit of a sore point.

A teenage runaway arrives the clinic with an ear bleed. This was once the hospital where seeing House was truly the last-case scenario. Desperate people came from other countries because he was a world-famous diagnostician. Now, it seems, all one needs is a trip to the clinic or the ER and House pops up, ready to go.

The teenager is supposedly homeless but she has set up shop in an abandoned house. Can’t recall her name, so let’s call her…Biff. Poor Biff has Druggie Mom. Druggie Mom and Biff briefly reconcile when Druggie Mom tells Biff, “I only did drugs after you were asleep, honey.” “I love you, Mom.”

House no longer has an ankle monitor on, so he drags to team to oh-so-wild-and-crazy places. Such as a shooting range, where he dresses like Elmer Fudd. Then a turtle race, in which Park gets to be quirky at a turtle.(Don’t these doctors have tests to run? Laundry? Anything?)




House’s biting wit is on display when he can’t stop giggling over the name “Pooholtz.” Straight out of Oscar Wilde’s playbook.

Foreman’s extramarital affair ends when he learns the wife has told the husband and the husband doesn’t mind. It makes no sense, but it’s just as well, as the wife is an even worse actress than Park.

Taub…remember when Taub was a wonderfully dry, snarky doctor? About two decades ago? Taub’s storyline is one of the best arguments for Planned Parenthood that I’ve seen yet. He bonds with the Sophii by telling them about football.

ANYWAY, Biff’s diagnosis is worms. Rather like the girl who went fishing with her parents and ate undercooked trout and ended up with tapeworm, Biff went swimming with Druggie Mom and contracted worms. Druggie Mom goes to bond with Biff. But Biff has run away once again, just as…somebody else ran away. I mean, the B-plot is always the A-plot on training wheels.

And there were two wacky civil way reenactors.

My hand on the Bible, I am not making any of this up.



Next week’s episode is supposed to be iconic.

ETA: As I was writing this, the Fox network announced that it is bumping “House” off the schedule for the month of March, extending “Alcatraz” in its place. You may draw your own conclusions.

ETA Part Two: Feel free to discuss this review in the comments. However, personal attacks will not be published.

Ciao,
Elisa

Say No To Internet Censorship, Dahlings!!

DAHLINGS -

I am certain my delightful worshippers know all about the government's attempt to censor and control what is on the interwebs. So I present you with this:

It is slightly hard to read. (My apologies, but it only reblogs to tumblr.)

The opening lines read:

Today, the world's Largest file sharing site

MEGAUPLOAD

was shut down by the FBI

At the bottom, the web address is http://www.google.com/landing/takeaction

Say no to SOPA and PIPA, dahlings!

Ciao,

Elisa

Welcome To Friday The 13th...

DAHLINGS -

Happy November 13!

And I've had a traditional November 13. First, the maid came in with the news that she had tried to wash a Charles James chiffon gown in the washing machine. She's currently locked in the utility closet.

Then I decided to take Fletcher for a walk in the park myself, since it isn't raining. I concealed my true identity with a peacoat (ugh), sunglasses and one of those conductor hats every woman in New York in wearing. As if wearing flats wasn't bad enough, a young man decided to show me his knife. His explanation was that he was not robbing or threatening me, just that he was proud of it. The young man had stabbed another gentleman the previous evening in a bar fight.

"Don't you think you should put that away?" I asked with as much sang-froid as I could.

"It's okay, I have a card," he responded. As twisted as this sounds, that is EXACTLY what happened. Then he told me that he had a gun in the back waistband of his pants. The young man let me walk away. This is why I have a driver and Leo walks Fletcher.

After I reported the youth to the police, I retreated upstairs for a restorative cup of tea. Oh, who am I fooling, it was a straight shot of bourbon.

Leo came in with my messages. A close relative needs surgery. This day simply keeps getting more delightful, and it's not even lunchtime yet.

I felt this song expressed how I feel at the moment. The first 1.17 minute is a spoken intro, which you can feel free to skip.




I should mention that I am Italian. So this seemed apropos. The original is in the first person, but I couldn't find a proper video for it.

One thinks that this is a cue to spend the rest of the day in bed with Fletcher and a hot toddy. No gentleman callers. God KNOWS what could happen.

Hope your day is far better than mine.

Ciao,
Elisa

A Timely Song To See In The New Year

DAHLINGS -

With the GOP primaries and Occupy movements swirling around us, your faithful correspondent thought that this song is particularly timely.

Written in 1931 at the height of the Great Depression, "Brother, Can You Spare A Dime?" was originally a Broadway tune. However, it caught the anguish of the day so well, it became a popular standard. The subject was the men returning from World War One (one of the highest casualty rates in history) to find that there was no work and no place for ex-soldiers.

Other videos of this song include photographs of the riots that mass unemployment caused. You might want to have a look at those as well.

If it does not play here, please go to YouTube.





This is a particularly heart-breaking version, recorded in 1932. It is sung by a very young Bing Crosby, decades before he became the dull, cardigan-wearing "Der Bingle." The photographs depict people caught up in the events, including several famous Dorothea Lange portraits.

Feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments.

Ciao,
Elisa

A Last Word From 2011..

DAHLINGS:




Thank God 2011 is over! Let's hope 2012 brings everyone (particularly moi) better things.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Ciao,

Elisa (Who intends to be far more fabulous in the coming year)

Merry Christmas From Moi & Terry Gilliam

DAHLINGS -

I'm not exactly in the Christmas spirit. But this did give me a few laughs, and what better to share during the season than laughter?



By Terry Gilliam C. 1968


Enjoy your eggnog!

Ciao,
Elisa